To New Beginnings..

Multimedia Message I called the appointment center at Kaiser to schedule my first prenatal appointment. They transferred me to an advice nurse who scheduled another phone appointment for Wednesday then transferred me to a recording that stated only the most captain obvious of tips for newly pregnant women: 1. Take prenatal vitamins. 2. Limit caffeine intake. 3. Quit smoking and don’t drink alcohol or use illicit drugs. Yeeeeeeeah.. I think that was kind of a given. I still haven’t picked up my antibiotics. Things feel weird, knowing the fact.. On another note, I don’t know what I’m so afraid of. Maybe its the fact that the only people I’ve told I’m keeping it support me keeping it. I mean, its one thing to state your opinion but its another to force your opinion. There are two people that I’ve told that think I should abort it, my cousin and my roommate. I don’t know why I can’t come out to tell them that I’m keeping it. I’m not afraid of what they’ll say or think so why couldn’t I just say it!? Am I subconsciously not wanting to keep it or subconsciously afraid of what people will think? Looking through my friends on fb, I realized a lot of them are mothers themselves. I find myself wanting to reach out and ask for help but still I don’t want people to know I am pregnant. I don’t want to tell the wrong person and they tell the whole world. It really helped a lot to talk to my roommate about things. She’s one of the few people that knows. I asked her if she was comfortable to have a baby in the house and she is. We talked about whether everyone else in the house would be comfortable because they’re all males! Guys like babies right? We’ll see. Then we talked about when I should talk to them and how I should approach it.. I’m kinda excited. -XO.

I was just about to blog something hella long and this stupid phone cut out and now it’s nowhere to be found. Ugh. It was a juicy one, too.

Long slow boring day at work. My boyfriend is out of town. I received a couple just-to-hear-your-voice calls. I spent time with my brother today, too. The little things made my day. I’m scheduled for some good hours next week, too! I’m glad. My next check should cover some rent. I still need to get my bank account out of negative. Ugh. Hopefully, I’ll have enough to do so! I don’t wanna pay to cash my checks and I don’t want anymore tax taken out. I hate money. On the other hand, I looked at some Chinese table that is supposedly 90 percent accurate in determining the sex of your baby by your age and the month you concieved. It says I’m having a boy. I hope I have a boy! I’ve always wanted to have a boy first and maybe he would be one of those cool older brothers that watches over his younger siblings. Haha. Hey, I can dream right? -XO.

According to this free app, this is what’s going on with my baby at the moment..

“During fetal development, practitioners measure embryos as small as yours from precious little crown to cute little rump. That’s because as your baby grows, his or her legs will be bent, making it hard to measure the full length of the body. Your baby’s crown-to-rump measurement is anywhere from a fifth to a quarter of an inch, and growing — making it the size of a sweet pea (your little sweet pea!).

So, if your womb had a view, what would you see? The folds of tissue in the prominent bump on top (the head) are developing into your baby’s jaws, cheeks, and chin. And are those little indentations on both sides of the head the adorable dimples you always hoped your baby would inherit from your mom’s side of the family? No, they’re ear canals in the making. Small bumps on the face will form the eyes and button nose in a few weeks time. Also taking shape this week: your baby’s kidneys, liver, and lungs.”

Knowing this, I’m just hoping I’m doing everything right.

adriuh:

i dislike

hate. being unreasonable. feeling second best. like i’m not good enough, and that there’s always someone else you’d rather be hanging out with. death. being disappointed. sickness. feeling bad or guilty. tension. prejudice. being alone. knowing you could have done more. not knowing what to do. pain. incorrect grammar. immaturity. being pushed away. being frightened. failing. seeing others in pain. seeing others wronged. 

It’s really weird that I haven’t had much of an appetite. I couldn’t finish anything that I cooked today. My homie brought some food from work home and I wasn’t even feelin’ it! There has to be something wrong. I need to call and schedule that appointment with that nurse. I’m supposed to eat 300 more calories than I did when I wasn’t knocked up. Thing is, I didn’t have much of a balanced diet so I really don’t know if I’m eating more or less. It’s a good thing I’ve been taking my vitamins faithfully everyday! Maybe I’ll google a healthy diet plan for pregnant women. I’ll do that later since I’m blogging from my phone. It’s safe to say I haven’t smoked any cigarettes and haven’t been exposed to any second hand smoke today! The doctor called back today. She told me my results, gave me prescription and asked if I would like to be tested for HIV/AIDS and other STD’s tested by a blood sample. I agreed but I didn’t have a ride to Kaiser today. I’ll have to go tomorrow. -XO.

adriuh:

i dislike

hate. being unreasonable. feeling second best. like i’m not good enough, and that there’s always someone else you’d rather be hanging out with. death. being disappointed. sickness. feeling bad or guilty. tension. prejudice. being alone. knowing you could have done more. not knowing what to do. pain. incorrect grammar. immaturity. being pushed away. being frightened. failing. seeing others in pain. seeing others wronged.